Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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