he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
