i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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