Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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