mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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