I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?