He kissed a someone with a penis
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"