I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
