You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
