Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
