There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
