just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize