So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
