So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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