Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
