i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
