Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ok first of all what the fuck
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
