Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
