What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
