I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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