Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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