Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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