I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
