i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
