Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am