so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
what food is Colorado known for?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.