im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.