WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit