Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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