Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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