Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
