But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
