What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
