I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize