dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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