she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
