maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My ass is underappreciated
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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