every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
