Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
