Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
