I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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