Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Walk of Shame today included voting.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
