Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
