No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
