Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
