She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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