I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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