You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
