So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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