All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
