Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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