They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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