hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.