I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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