Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize