Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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