Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
