I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
