how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
