I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
