I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
