two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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