she was so not down for the gang bang
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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