ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize