well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
