people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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