There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
