but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Shame - the story of my life.
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