normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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